The monologue audition is the scary interview of the theater job search.  There you are in your best finery, groomed to the hilt, with your resume and head shot.  You've got the interview - hey, you've gotten this far. Sure there's a dozen other wanna-be's in the waiting room and you just know you're better than 10 of them, and the other two - well, who knows.  You get called in.  You stand tall, walk firmly, not too cocky, not too casual.  Take your seat.  The personnel director folds his hands in his lap, leans back in his padded leather three-way reclining swivel roller chair, and says (like he's said a bajillion times since he got promoted to this position), "So, tell me about yourself.  Who is Joe Schmoe?"  And you're on.

That, as I see it, is what the monologue is.  The answer to the age-old question, "tell me about yourself."  It's your two minutes to shine, to stand out from the rest, to say, "Here's why you'd be making a mistake not to hire me and choose the next pretty boy in through that door instead."  

So, what ever you do, don't start off with "Oh, well, um...let's see...oh, I don't know, I guess I'm a people person..."

That is, your monologue needs to begin in a moment that by your first pause the auditors (be they professional casting agents, the director, somebody's assistant) pick your resume/headshot back up, check your name again, put their pencils down and pay attention.

What is this magical monologue piece that all but guarantees the lead role?  Sorry, I can't tell you.  I mean, I don't know what it is myself.  Truth is, it isn't about the monologue, it's about you.  Because in the end, if all you had to do was hand the casting director a copy of your monologue piece and say "this is what I would have done" and that alone would get you the role, well we'd all have Tonys on our mantelpiece.  I suppose there are some who might propose that a reeeeaaaallllly good actor could read from the Manhattan phone book and get the part.  I'd like to see that.  Really.  I would.

So where does that leave us?  Well, there are still some helpful tips I can pass along, but in the end it comes down to this:  You make it happen.  And if you aren't making it happen, you should try something else.  But one thing you should surely try is performing your piece in front of people who have some idea of whether it's good or not.  I mean, other actors, directors, casting agents, producers, playwrights, any combination of the above.  Not your Aunt Edna, not your significant other (unless s/he happens to be a member of the aforementioned groups), and definitely NOT your bedroom mirror.

Ask for feedback - honest, non-ingratiating commentary - and more importantly be receptive to it.  If you're listening to some person giving you some constructive criticism and all the while thinking "Oh, what do you know about acting", then you've asked the wrong person.  Ask someone who's opinion you respect, value, or at least honor enough not to dismiss outright because they aren't stroking your ego.  If you're really, really good, even the janitor at the Frosty Kreme will drop his push broom and applaud.  

So, how about a short list of tips that might help get you started.  Here's some things to keep in mind for the monologue audition.  In an audition where you read with other actors, typically from sides that are provided, there are a few other pointers as well as differences.  Read my tips on that here.

1. Choose a monologue that suits you.  That is, it should be appropriate to you in regards to age, gender, ethnicity, etc.  If you're young, don't try to be old, and vice versa.  It should be something that is not beyond your abilities to perform. Stay away from dialects and accents unless it is asked or expected of you according to the play you're auditioning for. And certainly choose one with little to no (preferably) swearing.  

2. Your monologue should be a piece that excites you in some way, touches you, has meaning.  Don't just repeat words. That will show through all your work.  Find out what it is about the piece that touches you, and play to that.

3. Avoid stock pieces that have been overdone.  You will either bore the auditors or give them something to compare you against the other 37 who did that sorry old time-worn schlock, and one of them may have done it better.  Here's a good hint:  look for buried monologues.  There are wonderful pieces that are disguised as dialogue in even some of the lesser plays.  If you can skip over the other character's lines and take only yours, and still have it make enough sense for two minutes, you'll likely have a unique piece on your lips.

4. You should prepare both a comedic and dramatic piece, but not too heavy.  Stay away from a classical verse piece unless that's the type of play you're auditioning for.  "Now is the hour of our discontent" won't get you the part of Herbie in "Gypsy". You may be asked to do one of each type, so you better know what type your monologues are.  If you've just done your dramatic piece and they say, "Great, very funny.  Now give us some drama luv," you're in trouble.

5. Don't choose a piece of anger with lots of yelling.  No one likes to be yelled at, especially the auditors.

6. Avoid as much as possible a piece that requires props.  You should not use props.  Mime briefly what you absolutely must, let the rest go.  Walking around with an imaginary glass of champagne only reminds the auditors that you don't have it, and brings them out of the moment.  They aren't watching you, they're looking at your empty hand.

7. Keep expectations low. You're expected to arrive on time, prepared, enter the audition area, give your presentation, and leave.  In some cases, the auditors have been at it for hours or days.  They aren't looking to make friends, so don't expect to chit chat with them. Do what you came to do and leave.  Of course, do it better then the rest - that's a given.

8. Dress comfortably in clean street clothes unless asked to wear play-appropriate attire. They aren't likely interested in your costuming expertise.  Although you never know.  Perhaps acting isn't really for you!

9. Try to be relaxed.  After all, it is just an audition.  If you get the part, there will be plenty of time to be anxious. If you don't, move on.  They'll be other chances.

10. Warm up before your turn, vocally and physically.  If you think it's a waste of time, consider what performer (artistic, athletic, etc) ever skips this step prior to their performance.  If you can think of one, please let me know. Until then, warm up.

11. When it is your time, proceed to the performance area without dawdling. You may not always be on a stage, so be ready to stand anywhere - a spare room, a hall, you never know.  You may be expected to announce your name or some assigned number.  Speak up so they can hear you.  Nothing worse then after three days of this, all they know is the person they really want is "the mumbler... what was his name?"

12. You'll be told in some fashion to begin, perhaps "When you're ready."  Here's a big clue: be ready. Take a second or two and get into the space, but no more.  Grab them as soon as you can.  They're not interested in your preparation technique.  With as little fanfare as necessary, make the obvious change from the character that is you to the character of your monologue and do it.

13. Remember, everyone in the room wants you to do well.  No one wants you to do a bad performance.  That just wouldn't be worth anyone's time.  So take the energy from all those good wishes inside and give it your best.

14. Make sure you're in the light.  One easy way to tell is if you look up and the lighting is such that you feel the need to squint, you're there.  Don't squint, though.  Keep your eyes open, blind as you'll be at the end, and your face up. Overhead lighting will cast shadows from your hair or eyebrows and give you a ghoulish, hard-to-enjoy look. Keeping your head up will diminish this, not to mention give the auditors a better look at you.  It should go without saying, don't wear a hat. 

15. Speak up.  But remember, volume is not a technique, projecting is. 

16. Do not engage the auditors as the other person your character is talking to. They're not there to act with you.  They want to watch you, and they may be taking notes, eating lunch, discussing sports scores.  Either look just off to the side away from them or pick a place on stage where the other character would be standing.  Wherever you place this imaginary character, keep them there.  Imagine that as much as you may move during your piece, they stay in place.  This imaginary character should be down stage, of course.

17. Your monologue should not require you to move a great deal.  If you feel it does, get a different one.  Conversely, you don't have to just stand there.  If you find a few small, meaningful movements that you can incorporate into your performance to punctuate it, fine.  But don't move for movement's sake.  You may just feel like you need to be contained.  That's fine, and often works in your favor.  Don't make it hard for the auditors to watch you by running all around.  They want to see you and hear you.  If you've walked into the audition under your own power, they'll assume you can move when they need you to.

18. Time your monologue, and make sure it fits the time allotted. Try to cut it down to a minute and a half.  You'll typically be offered two minutes, maybe more, but the auditors will have their opinion of you in 30 seconds.  The rest is a courtesy.  Don't waste their time with excess.  The other minute they'll spend discussing whether to ask you to do more, and if they do, no sense delaying that moment with more droning emotional squalor.

19. Regardless of how you perceive your performance, never apologize.  If you dropped a line, or your voice broke, or you were (understandably and noticeably) a little nervous, there is nothing to apologize for.  You've done your best, you'll do better next time, and it's all behind you now.  Rather than saying "I'm sorry"...

20. ...say "thank you" to the auditors when you are finished.  Whether you just had a crack at the lead of the next Broadway smash, or a walk-on in a local community theater production, the opportunity was given to you as a gift, not because you deserved it. Good manners are always appreciated, and remembered.

Now all that's left is to make your monologue a captivating and enjoyable piece of theater.  And that's easy, right?  I mean, when you think about it, isn't doing a monologue just the same as acting, only without all the distractions of misplaced scenery, defective props, ill-fitted costumes, other actors jumping on your laugh lines, missed sound cues, bad lighting, audience inattention, outside noises creeping in, and so on?  I mean, without all that going on, how can you miss?  So, just act like you would if it was the middle of the play and it was your line.  That spotlight is on you.  Shine.